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Getting Started Guide for Men

Gentlemen, thank you for choosing! To get started, let’s talk about your profile – your primary tool for finding new friends and a potential mate. Your profile is the first impression you make and your opportunity to show people you are interesting and worth getting to know, so do your best to make it stand out with both written and visual elements. Profiles with little information are easier to skip over; interesting profiles with multiple photos generate more responses.

Here are five ways to increase your chances of finding your perfect match:

1. Post great photos

Your portrait photo is the first one women see in search results, general lists and on your profile page. This is the only photo visible to people who do not click through to your profile, so choose your best photo for your portrait. It should be a clear, vertical headshot in which you are looking directly into the camera and smiling. And the more photos you post the better. Why? Because research indicates that profiles with photos are viewed 10 times more than those without – and result in 4 times more contacts and 6 times more responses!

2. Write a descriptive profile

Your profile is your opportunity to express who you are. When a woman clicks through from your portrait photo to your profile, she’s hoping to learn enough about you to decide if you might be compatible. Tell some interesting facts about yourself and what you’re looking for in a mate. Be descriptive about your lifestyle, what’s important to you in a relationship, and which qualities in a woman attract you most. Provide examples and explain what makes you unique. Examples make it easier for a woman to read your profile and say, "Wow, me too!"

Go beyond just adjectives like nice, smart, funny, successful and attractive and include examples of what makes you different, interesting and fun to be with. Remember, not saying much makes it easier to click away and move on to the next profile. Above all, be honest and stay positive. You might like to talk about:

  • Hobbies and interests
  • Family, pets
  • Your hometown
  • Personality, religion
  • Your job and plans for the future

Note: Please do not include your contact information or messages to other members in your profile; doing so violates our Terms of Use.

3. Take initiative

Check your “New Matches” daily, even a few times a day; if you see a profile you like, click “Say Hello” to show you are interested. Use the “My Matches” options or general searches to find someone you may be compatible with and contact her. If you find someone you are really interested in talking to, write a personal message instead of just using the “Say Hello” feature. You might send an extra photo that isn’t on your profile to make her feel special.

Please remember: do not take it personally if a woman does not respond to you – in the same way, it’s likely you will not respond to every woman who contacts you. It’s all a matter of mutual chemistry, which is often difficult to get right. The more women you are in touch with, the better your chances for finding someone.

4. Stay active and responsive

Being active on our site will increase your visibility in searches. Log in daily because inclusion of your profile in our lists is based on the date of your last login. Check several lists such as “New Matches”, “New Members,” “New Photo” and “Active Recently” so you can be the first to contact an interesting woman who comes up.

Be sure to keep your profile updated with current information. If you start corresponding with a woman you like, stay in touch – don’t wait days to respond to a message because it’s likely you won’t be the only man vying for a woman’s attention. Try to make a positive impression and be respectful and responsive. A woman wants to know you will be there for her, so don’t send a message and later leave her hanging.

5. Meet in person

Keep in mind many women are looking for a commitment. This means that if you have invested time getting to know someone, she will likely expect you to be interested in meeting in person. If you do travel to another country for a meeting, please read our Safety Precautions tips and Travel and Meeting in Person Guide before starting your exciting journey.

Following these tips can help increase your chances of finding your perfect match.
Good luck from the team at!