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Safety Precautions for Women

At RoseBrides.com, we encourage women to utilize online dating to its fullest potential, but also to do it with a healthy degree of caution. It’s rare for women to be targets of online dating scams but not unheard of, especially for women from the U.S. and U.K. If you keep in mind the following advice at every stage of your interactions with people you meet online and in person, the chances of being scammed will drop dramatically.

A scam is a fraudulent business scheme. In a “romance scam” a person fakes romantic intentions toward a victim to win his or her affection, then uses the goodwill to commit fraud such as gaining access to cash, bank accounts, credit cards, passports, e-mail accounts and/or national ID numbers. Sometimes the scammer tries to get the victim to commit financial fraud on his or her behalf.

Here are some signs that might indicate you're speaking with a scammer:

  • The person asks for payments for expensive items such as plane tickets, legal fees, visa fees, medical expenses, marriage annulment fees, etc. or asks you to assist with transactions such as depositing funds, shipping merchandise, etc.
  • The person talks about being "trapped" in a foreign country and asks you to help by purchasing plane tickets or sending money.
  • The person reports a sudden personal crisis and pressures you to provide assistance.
  • The person asks to borrow money, sometimes only a small amount. We recommend that you never loan money to someone you've just met, regardless of his or her story.
  • The person gives vague answers to specific questions (e.g., job, interests) or tells stories with inconsistencies or grandiosity.
  • The person “falls in love” with you within a couple of weeks. While it is possible to fall in love at first sight, be very cautious if you are asked to show your love by buying a plane or bus ticket so he or she can meet you.
  • The person seems too good to be true.
  • The person says that an expensive gift is on its way to you and asks that you pay customs taxes to the courier or another company.

We work hard to maintain the integrity of our site using both human and electronic screening techniques. However, from time to time, someone may get past our net. To protect yourself and avoid problems, be cautious. Here are some tips for protecting yourself that will help you enjoy your experience on RoseBrides.com:

  • In the beginning communicate by instant messaging or similar tools that do not reveal your surname – With IM programs such as such as MSN and Yahoo! Messenger, Skype, Google Talk and ICQ you can communicate anonymously for a period and guard your identity until you feel comfortable disclosing your personal email address or telephone number. We urge you to get to know a match well before sharing personal contact information, no matter how strong a connection you may feel.
  • Never assist with money matters – Scammers start by spending a significant amount of time messaging and gaining your trust. They pose as handsome men and act extremely charming – then one day you’ll get a message saying he wants to visit you and asks you to wire money for a passport and plane ticket. Wiring money is an irreversible transaction and you will likely have no way of getting it back. Bottom line: Never give money to anyone and don’t assist with money transfers, deposits, withdrawals, plane tickets, legal or visa fees, medical expenses or marriage annulment fees regardless of how trustworthy the man may seem.
  • Pay attention to details – If you continue talking to someone you think is a good match, be sure to pay attention to things he says that might be a red flag. For example, if you’ve revealed a personal fact about yourself such as your career goal and you get a general response back that doesn’t seem to fit well, you may be talking to a scammer.
  • Don’t save anyone who is “trapped” in a situation – If you meet someone who seems to have a lot of personal problems and you start to get close, and later he says he feels trapped in a terrible situation at home or feels he has no future in his country, beware. This could be a scammer appealing to your compassionate impulses to help.
  • Keep finances private and separate from romance – When you are getting to know someone, be wary if he asks specifics about your finances (e.g., credit card numbers, bank and savings account information). Do not give this information to anyone.
  • Persistence – A scammer can be very persistent when trying to take advantage of you. He will spend weeks or months trying to build trust to execute his plan. If he turns out to be a scammer, it’s natural to feel very disappointed when you realize that someone you’ve been communicating with is not real and has malicious intentions.

Safety Tips for Meeting Face-To-Face

After you’ve gotten to know each other and you’re ready to meet face-to-face, invite him to visit you in your country. If he is sincere about your relationship he should not object to this. If you do decide to travel:

  • Meet in a third country – If for some reason you prefer to travel for the meeting, make plans to meet in a third country not your own. Pick a place you both have an interest in visiting. You might consider Spain, Italy or France, or a more budget friendly country like Turkey or Morocco. This could be a great bonding opportunity.
  • Do your own research – We rely on the honesty of our members when filling out account and profile information (e.g., date of birth, marital status, city of residence, occupation, educational background, etc.). Regardless of the connection you feel with any of your matches, we encourage you to do your own research before meeting in person. Be sure to get the man's full name and type it into search engines like Google and Bing and check social networking sites like Facebook and LinkedIn for any discrepancies in what you know about him. If he is American, you can check the FBI’s Sex Offender Registry Website, contact state or local municipalities to obtain public information or use a paid service to obtain a full background report.
    Above all, use common sense. As disclosed in our Terms of Use Agreement, we do not conduct background checks on members because there are no public databases of criminal convictions in the United States or other countries. And because many crimes are never reported or prosecuted, background checks might give a false sense of security. As with all sites of this type, it is important to pay attention to the details someone shares and if you notice something that doesn't add up, follow your intuition and close the communication.
  • Never give your passport to anyone – There is no reason anyone would need your passport – never ever! Do not give it to anyone – there is no reason anyone would need it. Always leave a photocopy of your passport somewhere in case you lose the original or something happens to it. Write down the contact information for your country’s embassy and consulates and keep it handy.
  • Have extra money – Bring a credit card in case something unforeseen happens or your money is lost or stolen. Bring cash but not a large amount. Visa, MasterCard (Maestro) and American Express are widely accepted around the world.
  • Tell someone where you’re going – Be sure you tell someone at home where you are going and how to contact you and the man you are meeting. Leave photographs of him. Stay in contact with someone back home during your trip. We recommend setting up a communications system with a friend or family member as follows:
    1. Call your contact person when you arrive at your destination.
    2. Call your contact person when you are on your way to meet your man face-to-face for the first time and call afterwards to check in.
    3. Keep in touch every few days and don’t forget to call if you have agreed on a schedule for talking.
    4. Agree on a code word you can say in case something goes wrong and you’re being forced to say you’re ok.

Recap of important information about sending money

  • NEVER send money to a man to purchase a plane ticket, pay for visa or legal costs or anything else related to visiting you. If you feel you must assist him, always buy the ticket yourself on his behalf and make sure the ticket is refundable. Similarly, if you decide to pay for visa or annulment fees or other large expenses, pay the expense directly after you verify that the invoice and organization issuing the invoice is genuine.
  • Sometimes people ask for small amounts of money to pay for Internet access or telephone expenses for calling you. We recommend that you do not send money to anyone you have not yet met in person.
  • Be suspicious of people who are persistent or aggressive in their requests for money.
  • Be suspicious of people who ask for more money as soon as you have sent something.

Summary of Safe Dating Tips

Be wary of anyone who:

  • Asks for money or any type of financial assistance, especially if you have never met in person.
  • Asks you to assist with personal transactions (e.g., depositing funds, shipping merchandise).
  • Wants to speed up the pace beyond your comfort level or insists on getting overly close, overly fast.
  • Reports a sudden personal crisis and pressures you to help.
  • Asks inappropriate questions.
  • Tells stories with inconsistencies and grandiosity.
  • Gives vague answers to specific questions.
  • Urges you to compromise your principles.
  • Constantly blames others for troubles in his or her life.